Day 30--(Day 61): Thankful for Life

I just realized that today is the last day of thankfulness (at least on this blog). Blogging everyday this month about something I'm thankful for has really made me stop and look at each day and find something, ANYTHING to be thankful for. It's helped me take a step back and realize how much I have to be grateful for.

Here is my picture for the day:

And here is a collage of all the pictures I've used this month, plus a few more. :)

Come back tomorrow for December's theme!!

Day 29--(Day 60): Thankful for Moms (both real and adoptive)

I am so thankful tonight for moms. Throughout Fiddler, I have had quite a few Moms take me in.

At first, I was kind of the odd one out. A lot of people knew each other; a lot of people were related to each other. But, now we all seem like family. And I am so thankful for all of the mothers who've adopted me. Of course, there's Tinia, who is so wonderful and always there for a hug and some encouragement. Always. And there's Beth (pictured above), who actually plays my mom in the show. Beth and I have grown to be pretty close...especially this past week. I've been able to really open up to her and she has been so kind and supportive. And, Christina. She is the actual mom of my sister in the show, Sadie. She's opened her house to pick-up rehearsals and she has offered me lots of advice on my character. I really appreciate her honesty and her guidance.

And most of all, I'm grateful for my real mother. She puts up with a lot of stuff. And she made me green bean casserole tonight. My favorite!!

Day 28--(Day 59): Thankful for Encouragement

Tonight's Fiddler rehearsal was a little rough...oy. I have to be honest: I'm nervous for our show. Can we pull it off???

I was feeling really discouraged after rehearsal because I felt like I didn't do my best. But, on my way out, I ran into Tinia. She gave me a big hug and told me that she is really proud of me and that I'm doing a good job. This made my night. I look up to Tinia so much and for her to say this to me meant so much. I'm feeling a little better about the whole evening now.

My friend, Marisa, sat in on the rehearsal! What a blast! Love this girl!!

Day 27--(Day 58): Thankful for Relaxing Days

Today was wonderfully relaxing. I didn't do much of anything. I woke up around 11 and then I went shopping with my mom. I came home and finished my research paper. It was nice to just chill out before I go into Tech/Hell Week for Fiddler. :) Oy.

I bought these lovely shoes which remind me of my friend Kayla (she ALWAYS wears these kind of shoes).

Day 26--(Day 57): Thankful for People Who Change Lives

Today was a difficult day. It was a GOOD day, just difficult. Let me explain.

Two years ago on this date (which happened to be Thanksgiving that year), my mentor, teacher, and friend, Grant Richey passed away due to cancer. It was a very difficult day then and it was a hard truth to swallow again today.

I remember waking up that day around 2 AM and feeling startled. I sat up suddenly in my bed for no apparent reason, but I felt like something was very wrong. Ignoring this feeling of impending doom, I fell back to sleep a short while later. When I actually woke up at around 8 o'clock, without getting up, I grabbed my computer (which was sitting right next to my bed) and opened up my email. There it was: a notification from Grant's CaringBridge website. And I knew, at once, that it had happened. I recall logging on to the site, hands shaking, and reading exactly what I was expecting and dreading: At around 2:10 that morning, Grant had died. I can even remember the time stamp for that post: 7:14 AM. I'm not sure why that little detail is so engrained in my head.

After I found out, the first thing I did was call my friend, Steph, who had also known Grant. I was surprisingly calm, but on the inside, I was distraught. She told me that it would be okay, that I would be okay and that she was there for me. It was immensely comforting to me and really, I think, saved me from just crawling up in a ball and crying for the rest of the day. I remember calling a couple other friends, but other than that, the entire rest of the day is a blur. It was a very painful day for me, so I think I tried to block it from my memory.

At the time, I was performing in a production of Fiddler on the Roof at the Phipps Center for the Arts in Hudson, WI. I had a performance the day after Thanksgiving and I was so grateful for that. Grant's passion was theatre and there was no place I would've rather been the day after he died. Grant once said that: "This is when we need theatre: when everything is falling apart." He was so right. That day, my world was falling apart and theatre was the only thing that could make it okay. But, Fiddler is not exactly the happiest show in the world. I definitely cried through almost the entire show that day and the two other performances that weekend. But, it was good to let it out. I felt very close to Grant when I was up on that stage. I had met Grant through theatre and it was almost as if I was getting to say goodbye to him with the performance.

I will always associate Fiddler with Grant. And now, I'm working on a new production of Fiddler with a theatre company Grant helped to start. The directors of the show all knew him and the choreographer, Tinia, is someone I met because of Grant. She and I became friends because of Grant's death (she helped me process the whole thing) and we have come to be pretty close.

Today, at rehearsal, I had to hold back tears during a few songs. Music triggers my memories and the music from Fiddler certainly triggers a lot of painful ones regarding Grant.

So, the whole story is coming full circle for me. I was blessed to know Grant and I miss him so much. He will always be an inspiration to me and will remain forever in my heart.

This is an essay I wrote about Grant shortly after he died (it won an essay contest a year and a half ago):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rrtJyr5ycBIZOHBjqaGXmsB3Lvc0OMnpedpM4H4U7pc/edit

I hope that I am making Grant proud and doing justice to the wonderful person he was. He really did change my life and I am so beyond honored to have known him.

RIP Grant Richey 1960-2009

Thank you for everything.

Day 25--(Day 56): Thankful for People!

People are what make my life awesome.

Yesterday, my blog hit 2000 views. I couldn't believe it. :) This blog has been such a wonderful release for me and I am looking forward to continuing the journey. I really don't blog because I want people to read it. I honestly blog for me. So, it's not an insult to me when no one comments or even reads my posts, it's really about discovering new things in the world and about myself. Of course, it's fun to have people read my blog. :)

Today, I had pilates with Heather in the morning!!! I've missed her so much, but my body definitely did not want to cooperate this morning. I also got to see her husband, Eben, who was deployed in Afghanistan for the last few months. It was great to actually see him and to know that he's okay. Heather's sister, Jennifer, was also visiting! Heather and Jennifer have become like sisters to me...mostly because I just spend SO MUCH TIME with their family. Their mom, Lynn, is my voice teacher. I was even asked to help remove the pool cover earlier this year--apparently my official induction into the family. :) Love all of them so much!!

After a wonderful morning, I went to a brush up rehearsal with a few people from Fiddler. It was great to work on our scenes and work on getting off book...we open in a week!! AHHHHH! Anyway, it was fun to see Zoe, Sadie, Christina, Cole, Harry, Tim, and Beth. They're so fun!!

After that, I headed off to work. It was a fabulous SPCO concert. :)

What are you thankful for today?

Day 24--(Day 55): Thankful for Tradition

Happy Thanksgiving!! Think about all the things you have to be thankful for...:) One of my favorite traditions my family has for thanksgiving is having three kinds of pie: apple, french silk, pumpkin. Yummy. No one in our family can agree on one type of pie, so we get all three. Lucky for me, I'm the only one who likes all three!! :)

Day 23--(Day 54): Thankful for a Day Off

Today was a really nice day. I worked from 9-3 and then hit Chipotle for a burrito. Yummy. :) I then headed to Minneapolis to see if anyone was around to run scenes. There was set building going on, so there were lot of people around. Here's some pictures of the set building:

Day 22--(Day 53): Thankful for Friends!!

Today was a pretty normal day. School, voice lessons, rehearsal. After rehearsal I spent a little time with my friend (and the stage manager for Fiddler), Suzie. We talked for a long time and it was fun to catch up. She's a really great friend and person and I'm so glad we're actually doing a show together!! :)

Day 21--(Day 52): Thankful for Inspiring People

I had my first Messiah experience tonight!!! I absolutely loved hearing the St. Thomas University Chamber Choir perform Part I of Handel's Messiah. It was so beautiful! Two of my friends are in the choir: Maggie (aka Lena) and Emily! They both did beautifully. Emily sang the "Rejoice Greatly" solo (my favorite)...oh my goodness, it was beautiful! I love her voice. These two ladies inspire me to be a better singer and performer. Also, I got to go to the concert with some Children of Eden family: Peg, Joe, Rachel, Kerry, Carrie, and George!! Here's a couple pictures!

Further inspiration today comes from a teacher of mine, Bil Gangl. Two years ago today, Mr. Gangl died of brain cancer. He taught me a lot in the time I knew him and he is still very much missed at our school. This is an essay I wrote about him last year, which, I am honored to say won the White Bear Center for the Arts Essay Contest in May. I'm not trying to brag, but I'm so proud and humbled to have won with a piece like this: about a really awesome person who inspired me. I can't think of a better way to honor Mr. Gangl. Here is the essay:

Confidence and Courage

by Kate Sandvik

“What a Wonderful World.” A song of hope, a song full of dreams. It’s amazing that someone facing a terminal diagnosis could live by this song, but that is exactly what Bil Gangl did. Mr. Gangl was the type of person who could inspire people just by being alive, even before he was diagnosed with cancer.
Mr. Gangl was a technology education teacher at my middle school. He only taught me for one quarter in sixth grade, but he had a profound effect on my life. When I was in sixth grade, I wasn’t very confident. However, by encouraging me, Mr. Gangl taught me to be confident in myself. Every time I step on stage, the confidence I learned to have in sixth grade comes out. If I didn’t have that confidence, I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today.
After sixth grade, I didn’t see Mr. Gangl very often. I saw him periodically around school, but I never really made an effort to go visit him. To think now of all the times I could have visited him tears my soul apart. That’s something I will always regret.
When I was in eighth grade, Mr. Gangl was diagnosed with cancer. I remember feeling as if the whole school was weighed down with fear for our favorite teacher. But leave it to Mr. Gangl to be the most upbeat of everyone; at least when his students were around. Whenever I saw him, he would be smiling and joking. And then there were those wonderful days when he would stand in the hallway between classes playing his guitar and singing. All the students and staff walked through the hallways in silent awe of Mr. Gangl.
One of Mr. Gangl’s favorite songs to play was “What a Wonderful World.” I remember one time, Mr. Gangl came into my social studies class randomly and began playing “What a Wonderful World.” My teacher didn’t mind the interruption at all. When Mr. Gangl finished the song, there was not a dry eye in the room. Knowing that Mr. Gangl was facing death and could appreciate the day and the time he still had instead of being angry or afraid was inspirational. Not too many people have as much courage as he did.

Once I left the middle school, I rarely saw Mr. Gangl. I was so busy with school and other activities and I never created time in my schedule to see him. In the spring of that year (2009), as Mr. Gangl’s condition worsened, a group of students and coaches Mr. Gangl worked with as a track and field coach, hosted a surprise party for him. Everyone from the middle school and high school was invited and many people, including myself, attended. It was wonderful that we were able to give Mr. Gangl such a profound and encouraging vote of confidence.

After school finished up and summer ended, Mr. Gangl did not return to the middle school and he was sorely missed. It seemed to be a generally accepted truth that his cancer would claim his life. Still, when Mr. Gangl died on November 21, 2009, most students and staff were in a state of shock. I certainly was. Mr. Gangl’s memorial was held on the day after Thanksgiving and to my great dismay, I could not attend. I was performing a play at the time and had a performance that evening. I desperately wanted to skip the performance in order to go to the memorial, but that was not possible. I could not let my cast mates down, but I deeply regret not being there to remember Mr. Gangl. I know that Mr. Gangl would have understood, but I felt--and still feel--that I let him down by not going. Besides, accepting Mr. Gangl’s death has been more difficult without the closure of a memorial. After that experience, I promised myself I would never miss a funeral or memorial service again; but, not surprisingly, it happened again and I’m sure that I will have to feel that pang of guilt and regret again many times in the future.

Based upon the reaction to his death, I now realize how much Mr. Gangl taught about community. Through coaching and tech ed., he united the middle school and the high school students and staff by maintaining connections with former students and by forging relationships with staff members he would not normally need to associate with. Seeing how parents, teachers, and students reacted to Mr. Gangl’s death was very moving and powerful. To see just how many people his life touched was incredible.

Although coping with the loss of such an inspiring teacher and person has been difficult, I try to remember the important lessons Mr. Gangl professed and that helps me. Saying that Mr. Gangl taught me many life lessons would be an understatement. Mr. Gangl taught me to appreciate everyday and every moment I am blessed to have. Through his battle with cancer, he taught courage. He faced his diagnosis with bravery and never looked back. What he taught me is what I will remember most about him.

Day 20--(Day 51): Thankful for Better Days!!

Yesterday was rough, but today was so much better!! I cleaned my house in the morning and then went to work at noon. I saw the majority of the MN Opera's World Premiere of Silent Night. It is about the Christmas truces during World War I. There were some parts that I really liked and some parts that weren't my favorite thing ever. But it was beautiful.

After work, I got to go see a fun original show at the Minneapolis Theater Garage starring my friends Lydia and Mary Helen. It was great to see both of them!!!

Here's a picture of me and Lydia!!

Day 19--(Day 50): Thankful for AWFUL days...yes, it's true.

Yesterday, I posted about the amazing day I had. Well, I think I jinxed it. Today was awful. Nothing seemed to go the way it should've.

I got up in time (yay) and left for rehearsal at 8:20 which was on time (yay)! Then it started to go wrong. I missed my exit, so I had to turn around which lost me about 15 minutes of travel time. This put me a half an hour away from where I needed to be in 15 minutes. It was bad, but I managed to get there right on time. It was a MIRACLE.

Rehearsal for Fiddler went alright, but it seems like no one remembers any of our choreography. It's so frustrating because a lot of people have been gone, so they haven't learned some parts and haven't taken the time outside rehearsal to get caught up. We were supposed to do four big numbers today, but we only got through two of them. It was so frustrating. Pull it together, people!!

I also want to briefly vent about rehearsals. I love everyone in the show and all of our directors. Everyone is so nice. Today, our choreographer, Tinia got very frustrated with us and rightfully so. She's really busy and she's trying to juggle a lot of rehearsals for other shows right now, so she was only at one rehearsal this week. It was so frustrating that people in the cast aren't respectful of her and don't pay attention. Everyone expects their time to be used wisely (some people get mad when they come to rehearsal and have to sit around for a while), yet they waste our directors's time by showing up late, talking during rehearsals, and being lazy during rehearsals. Now, I'm not saying that I'm perfect by any means. I am probably the most talkative person and yes, I do arrive late sometimes. But, I feel like I try really hard to always do my best at rehearsals and try not to talk as much as possible. Ok, vent over.

Back to my day. After rehearsal, I walked out side and it was SNOWING. I almost cried. Snow was not what I needed. I went and picked up my dad at the auto-repair shop and drove him home. Directly after that, I drove over to school for the two final performances of the middle school play. On my way there, I nearly died. I'm totally serious. I was driving and I wanted to slow down, but when I started to brake, my car spun out and I ended up facing the completely opposite direction and on the shoulder of the other lane. It was SO scary. I was really lucky because there weren't any other cars around, so no one got hurt.

So, I got to the play and it went well, but then I had to leave early to go to work. Just when I thought the day couldn't get worse, I arrived in the city and realized all the parking ramps required pre-payed cash for event parking. I didn't have any cash. I literally cried. I eventually found a ramp that accepted credit cards. As I was walking into work (for which I was ten minutes late), I dropped my Fiddler script in the snow. Luckily, it's not my really book, it's just a copy, but still...

Why am I thankful for awful days?? Terrible days make great days seem so much more special and meaningful. :)

Day 18--(Day 49): Thankful for Great Days

Today was just a great day. My stats project went well, I met with Peggy, I photographed an amazing play, and I arranged two pieces I'll be doing for my senior recital. "And the day was perfect." :)

Here's a picture of me and some friends who came to the show tonight.

Day 17--(Day 48): Thankful for Surprises!

Today, I ventured out to Southwest Minneapolis for Fiddler rehearsal. After we finished, I drove my friend Suzie (pictured below) to her bus stop.

Then, to my surprise, I looked up and I saw this sign:

I realized that my friend, Lydia was in this show! I texted her to tell her and she told me that she was actually in the middle of the show right then. So, I waited around so I could see her after the show. It was super fun to see her. She is one of my favorite people. Lydia played Maria in the Sound of Music when I was in it this summer. She was amazing!!! I miss her so much! :)

It was a great surprise and a lovely way to end a long day.

Day 16--(Day 47): Thankful for Freedom

I was thinking today about freedom. In the U.S., we are lucky enough to have many freedoms including freedom of speech. This allows us to voice our opinions even if they are not "government supported." As the president of my school's politics club, I try to stay in the loop with current issues and politics. I love having political discussions and I am so glad that we have the freedom to discuss politics in our country.

Here's a couple pictures from our meeting today!!

Day 15--(Day 46): Thankful for Concerts!

There is nothing better than being on stage. It doesn't really matter why you're on stage, It just matters that you are on stage. It's especially great when you're with fabulous people whom you can trust. Tonight was my last first band concert. That's right: first band concert of senior year. Fun, scary, exhilarating all at once. :) Plus, it was our new band director's debut concert at our school! I really wanted everything to go well for that reason. I think it did. I am proud to play in this ensemble.

In honor of our director's first concert, we presented him with a card and flowers during the concert. This is a picture of Trudy, who planned it with me!

Day 14--(Day 45): Thankful for Young Actors

Today, I got to go back to the show I've been missing because of Children of Eden. I'm an assistant director for a show called 45 Hours in 2 Acts which was written by my friends Abby, Davis, Kyle, and myself. It's really fun to see the words come to life especially because I haven't seen the show for about a month. The kids have been working really hard and they are doing a great job. I'm so proud of them!!

Here is a picture from today as well as a picture of the poster. We open on Thursday!!

Day 13--(Day 44): Thankful for the Little Moments

Today marks the last day of Children of Eden. This show has been fun, exciting, emotional, frustrating, amazing, challenging, wonderful, and most of all--AWESOME!! I've had a great time getting to know everyone in the show. I am so honored to have been part of this show and I am so proud of all that we accomplished.In life, it's really easy to forget about the small things and

focus on the larger, "more important" times. But, sometimes we should all take a moment to remember the little things in life.

Like awkward hugs, animal crackers in an ark shaped bowl, and braiding hair. There were so many wonderful "large things" that occurred during this show: hitting all of the right notes, getting a standing ovation, hearing the audience laugh. But, there were also so many wonderful small moments. I feel like this cast really embraced the small moments and celebrated their importance.

Take a look around you. Let the small joys in your life fill you.

As for Children of Eden, I will miss it. I'm so happy that I got to be part of it.

Finishing a show is a little like someone dying: you spend time getting to kn

ow the show and then you are away from it for brief spans of time bet

ween rehearsals and shows and then, all of a sudden, it's all over. Done. Just like that. There's no going back. The hardest part of love is letting go.

Day 12--(Day 43): Thankful for Fantastic Friends!!

I have the most amazing friends. I had a bunch of people come to the show tonight including Zoe, Nikki, and Carol!! I was so happy that they could come. This is a picture of me and Zoe after the show.

I also met with Tinia about colleges today. Before our meeting I was extremely stressed out and overwhelmed with all that I have to accomplish for my college auditions. After talking to her, I am feeling a lot better about the whole thing.

Day 11--(Day 42): Thankful for Fridays (and Friday's)

I love Fridays!!! And I love Friday's!!! Tonight after the show, we went out to TGIFriday's. It was super fun!!!!!

Emily, Logan and I were sitting a few seats away from Joe who plays God in the show. Joe gave us some fries, so we started calling them "God Fries." :)

Day 10--(Day 41): Thankful for Fun!!

Okay, so, forgive this boring title. There was no other word to describe tonight's rehearsal for Fiddler!!! It was fabulously fun! Here are a couple pictures from the rehearsal. :)

Day 9--(Day 40): Thankful for Music

Today, I received some music for my senior recital from one of my favorite local composers. I was inspired to restart a composition I began two years ago. I really love composing!!

Here's a picture of my keyboard that I hook up to my computer for composing!!

Day 8--(Day 39): Thankful for the Right to Vote

I am lucky enough to live in a country where voting is a right. Today, I got to vote for the very first time! Yay!!!!

You can't complain if you don't vote.

Day 7--(Day 38) Thankful for Far Away Friends (and Skype)!

Last year, a lot of my friends went to college. But, thanks to facebook and skype, I have been able to keep in touch with them. They are the people I call when I need help.

Today, I wore a necklace that I purchased one of the last times I saw my friend Rachel before she moved to Florida for college (see above picture). It reminded me just how lucky I am that we have stayed in touch.

Rachel, Mary, Olivia, Laurel, Jana, and Alex: you are amazing! thank you for being my friends.

Also, my friend Cat made her big move to NYC today!!! I blogged about her in October. She is a wonderful person and performer. Good luck, Cat!!!

And I can't forget my lovely Pilates buddy, Heather who recently moved to California to be reunited with her husband Eben who served our nation over seas. Thank you Eben and all of the men and women who sacrifice their safety so that we can have ours. I miss you both.

:)

Day 6--(Day 37): Thankful for Video Cameras

Today, we (the cast of Children of Eden) got to watch a recording of our show. It was so incredible to be able to see what we are creating and how we can each improve our performances. :) We had a blast!!

This is a picture of my friend Aidan and I. Aidan has a solo in the show and she is amazing!!!! She is my fabric partner in the Flood scene, which is one of my favorites. I am so glad that we've become friends.

Day 5--(Day 36) Thankful for Moving Music

There is nothing that moves me more than a well written piece of music. Music can stir up so much emotion. It mends hearts. Not to mention that I'm a really emotional person. Being in a show like Children of Eden, where every song is perfectly crafted and most of them are emotionally touching, is sometimes a challenge. Most days I can hold it together pretty well, but today was not one of those days. During one number, I sat offstage--as I usually do--and just began sobbing. Like, for real. I couldn't understand what was making me so emotional. But that's what music can do and I am so glad that I can be so moved at times.

I also went to go see our choreographer, Kayla's dance performance today. It was amazing. She is an incredible performer and I am so honored to know her.

This is a picture of me, Emily, and Kayla after Kayla's show. :)

Day 4--(Day 35) Thankful for My Mentors

I am lucky enough to have a great bunch of adult mentors in my life. Today, I had a great conversation with one of them and she was brutally honest with me. Not mean, just honest (there IS a big difference). I won't go into detail about our conversation...it makes my fingers hurt just thinking of trying to write everything down that we talked about. But, here are two quotes which I think sum it all up:

"Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it."
--Ray Blanton

"Honesty is as much saying everything as it is saying what is true."

--Richard Snelling

Here is a picture of some of the great cast members of COE!!

Day 3--(Day 34): Thankful for my Parents

The last few days (alright, months) have been a very trying time for me and my parents. There's a lot of stress with college coming up so soon. I firmly believe that most of the kids who apply for college go through this. But, as much as I am frustrated and upset with them sometimes, they are the reason I'm here and I am thankful for everything they do for me.

Tonight I had a great rehearsal for Fiddler!! We choreographed Matchmaker which was super fun and involves mop tossing!!! :)

Here's a picture of me and Harry, a friend from the show. He plays Motel. :)

Day 2--(Day 33): Thankful for my Youth

I have never hated being in high school more than I hated it today. A bunch of the adults from Children of Eden had a gathering and I, much to my disappointment, was not included. I know--rather, I hope--that this was simply because of my age, but it's still frustrating not to be included in the fun. I understand completely why I wasn't included...I mean, what adult wants to hang out with a high schooler? But, it made me realize something important that I've never really thought about before: I hate my age.

Being 16, 17, and 18, I think are the most difficult ages. At least, they are the most difficult that I've experienced in my short life. The difficulty is that a 16, 17, or 18 year old is too old to be a "kid," but still too young to be an "adult," though they are generally expected to behave like one.

I hate to be this whiny, so I'm sorry. But, what is the point of having a blog if I can't be honest?

Don't get me wrong; I love the life I was born to live and I love the fact that I am still young and have my whole life in front of me, but somedays I wish I was older so that I could be one of the "adults."

So, my friend, Allie is getting married!!! Yay! Congrats!! Here's a picture of the two of us:

Day 1--(day 32): Thankful for New Friends

Welcome to November!! Yay! I hope everyone had a great Halloween and got lots of candy.

Today, I begin a new blogging project. In honor of Thanksgiving, I will be blogging everyday about something I am thankful for.

Tonight, I had rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof and I spent time with my new sisters, Sadie and Zoe. These two wonderful girls are unbelievably talented and I am so excited to work with them!! They are new friends and we are starting to really become like sisters. Soon we'll be braiding each other's hair and talking about boys. :)

Take time today to reflect on something that you are thankful for. There is so much in the world to be thankful for.