I've been very occupied with other things and I've forgotten to metion that Picnic opens in a week! I'm so excited. As an actor, I have started bonding with my cast mates. This week is the first week that we've actually had the entire cast at rehearsal. I'm finally off book. So that's great! I really have to be going. I'll post more tomorrow becuase I don't have school.
Love,
Kate
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Healing
The past week and a half may have been the most difficult time period in my life. But, who knows? Chrissy's death came as such a shock, and I don't know if it has really dawned on me yet. Maybe it's because my life is already so occupied right now, so I've been too busy to really feel the loss.
When I do feel it is when I am at church, where the lack of Chrissy's presence is so obvious. Certain songs will always bring back so many fond memories of Chris. The loss is also noticed when I proudly wear my breast cancer ribbon in Chrissy's honor, and I'm asked why I wear it. Holding back the tears, that seem to always be hidden only slightly behind my eyelashes, is so difficult. Also, when I see my wonderful, supportive friends and they show their love with hugs and nice words, I have to use all the energy I have to refrain from crying.
And so the healing begins. Actually, it begins the moment someone you know dies. Whether you know it or not, from that moment you are healing. Every time you cry, that is healing. Healing is a personal experience, but one of the ways that I heal is through poetry. Here is a poem I recently wrote:
I Miss You
In the black of night,
My heart beats in my chest,
I hold the tears back.
Sitting in my bed,
Sleep eluding me,
You are in my thoughts.
Outside, the moon shines.
Up there the stars glisten and I know you're up there too.
With this specific death I am also healing through a research paper that I'm writing about breast cancer. This is very personal and important to me so it is letting me express my thoughts and feelings about the disease.
I know that Chrissy's death will be something that I always carry inside me, but hopefully, I won't always think of her and be sad that she's gone. I know that in time, the good memories will overcome the sadness. But now is not the time for that. Now is the time to be sad. To let Chrissy's life be remembered and to allow myself to cry.
Love,
Kate
When I do feel it is when I am at church, where the lack of Chrissy's presence is so obvious. Certain songs will always bring back so many fond memories of Chris. The loss is also noticed when I proudly wear my breast cancer ribbon in Chrissy's honor, and I'm asked why I wear it. Holding back the tears, that seem to always be hidden only slightly behind my eyelashes, is so difficult. Also, when I see my wonderful, supportive friends and they show their love with hugs and nice words, I have to use all the energy I have to refrain from crying.
And so the healing begins. Actually, it begins the moment someone you know dies. Whether you know it or not, from that moment you are healing. Every time you cry, that is healing. Healing is a personal experience, but one of the ways that I heal is through poetry. Here is a poem I recently wrote:
I Miss You
In the black of night,
My heart beats in my chest,
I hold the tears back.
Sitting in my bed,
Sleep eluding me,
You are in my thoughts.
Outside, the moon shines.
Up there the stars glisten and I know you're up there too.
With this specific death I am also healing through a research paper that I'm writing about breast cancer. This is very personal and important to me so it is letting me express my thoughts and feelings about the disease.
I know that Chrissy's death will be something that I always carry inside me, but hopefully, I won't always think of her and be sad that she's gone. I know that in time, the good memories will overcome the sadness. But now is not the time for that. Now is the time to be sad. To let Chrissy's life be remembered and to allow myself to cry.
Love,
Kate
Saturday, February 14, 2009
"Life is Good"
So, maybe that's not how I'm feeling today.
That's the motto of my dear, sweet friend Chris, who passed away on Tuesday. Today was the funeral for Chrissy. It was wonderful, it really was. Although the occasion was of course terribly sad, it was a lot of fun. Instead of the traditional funeral meal, we had a very fun "going away party" for our beautiful Chris.
During the service, one of the pastors at my church sang a gorgeous song called, "On Eagle's Wings". Ironically, the senior choir, to which Chris belonged, sang this song last month and I remember thinking that it would be a great song to sing at a funeral.
Some of the lyrics are:
"And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand."
It's such a beautiful song and the woman who sang it did beautifully. We also sang a very fun song called "All God's Critters Got a Place in the Choir". It's a wonderful and fun song. And it's very Chrissy like.
Some of the lyrics are:
"All God's critters got a place in the choir.
Some sing low, some sing higher.
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire.
And some just clap their hands, or paws Or anything they got now."
The service was amazing. The final count of people was 443. 443. WOW! Only Chrissy could get our church that full. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Since Chrissy recently got into knitting, many of us wore they scarves she knitted for us.
I'm going to miss Chris so much. And Valentine's Day will never be the same...
On a much more positive note, I went to the greenie sleepover yesterday with my hanging of the greens cast. I'll blog more about that later...
Love,
Kate
That's the motto of my dear, sweet friend Chris, who passed away on Tuesday. Today was the funeral for Chrissy. It was wonderful, it really was. Although the occasion was of course terribly sad, it was a lot of fun. Instead of the traditional funeral meal, we had a very fun "going away party" for our beautiful Chris.
During the service, one of the pastors at my church sang a gorgeous song called, "On Eagle's Wings". Ironically, the senior choir, to which Chris belonged, sang this song last month and I remember thinking that it would be a great song to sing at a funeral.
Some of the lyrics are:
"And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand."
It's such a beautiful song and the woman who sang it did beautifully. We also sang a very fun song called "All God's Critters Got a Place in the Choir". It's a wonderful and fun song. And it's very Chrissy like.
Some of the lyrics are:
"All God's critters got a place in the choir.
Some sing low, some sing higher.
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire.
And some just clap their hands, or paws Or anything they got now."
The service was amazing. The final count of people was 443. 443. WOW! Only Chrissy could get our church that full. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Since Chrissy recently got into knitting, many of us wore they scarves she knitted for us.
I'm going to miss Chris so much. And Valentine's Day will never be the same...
On a much more positive note, I went to the greenie sleepover yesterday with my hanging of the greens cast. I'll blog more about that later...
Love,
Kate
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Without You
On Tuesday, my very good friend, Chris passed away. Chris fought breast cancer for almost two years. I knew her from my church. We sang together every Wednesday night during service for about a year before her diagnosis. Chris taught me a lot about harmonizing in singing, which is something I love to do. Chris will be very missed. Today was hard, tomorrow will be harder. I just can't believe she's gone...
Chris is now out of her pain, thank God for that! She had to go be with Him in heaven. I think the angel choir just needed one more alto...
Chris is now out of her pain, thank God for that! She had to go be with Him in heaven. I think the angel choir just needed one more alto...
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Good, the Bad, and the Cute
The Good:
Picnic is going really well so far! I had rehearsal Monday-Thursday this week doing Act I. We are finished blocking Act I and on Sunday, we will do the whole thing. Lines for Act I are due on Monday. Ahhhh! In the show, my smoking was changed to bubble gum chewing. We had publicity photos and I'm getting to know Mary Helen, who plays my sister. She's really funny! I also ran into Jan at the theatre on Thursday which was very exciting! Jan was Pinella in the Hanging of the Greens. I miss her and the rest of the Greenies so much. Next week is the Greenie sleepover, so I'm looking forward to that! Should be fun!
The Bad:
This week has brought some new challenges into the life of one of my friends with Breast Cancer. I won't get into the details, but let's just say that it's not good. Please, please, please pray for Chris and her family. They really need it right now. That's all I ask of you....just pray, please.
The Cute:
Well, Jessica of course! It was her birthday on Thursday! I think she just got cuter....(not older)!
Love,
Kate
Picnic is going really well so far! I had rehearsal Monday-Thursday this week doing Act I. We are finished blocking Act I and on Sunday, we will do the whole thing. Lines for Act I are due on Monday. Ahhhh! In the show, my smoking was changed to bubble gum chewing. We had publicity photos and I'm getting to know Mary Helen, who plays my sister. She's really funny! I also ran into Jan at the theatre on Thursday which was very exciting! Jan was Pinella in the Hanging of the Greens. I miss her and the rest of the Greenies so much. Next week is the Greenie sleepover, so I'm looking forward to that! Should be fun!
The Bad:
This week has brought some new challenges into the life of one of my friends with Breast Cancer. I won't get into the details, but let's just say that it's not good. Please, please, please pray for Chris and her family. They really need it right now. That's all I ask of you....just pray, please.
The Cute:
Well, Jessica of course! It was her birthday on Thursday! I think she just got cuter....(not older)!
Love,
Kate
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